A Visit From Papa

For the past few days, and I've been thinking about just how nice it is to have family around when you aren't feeling well.  As I'm recovering from surgery and dealing with a Lupus flare up, my family has had to do extra work in my absence from the regular daily chores.  And....we are a homeschooling family, so my son has been doing a lot of his work independently the past few weeks.  No one has complained, but we are all feeling the effects of being cooped up as Mom recovers.

This week my Dad decided to come down for a visit.  I was worried that I wouldn't be very good company but was very happy that my son would have his Papa here to hang out with.  They have so much in common, which allows them to share in many activities.

Grandparents can be such an amazing blessing!  They bring an element that no other relationship does.  I love the way my son and my Dad love each other....it is how it is meant to be.

Yesterday they went shopping....yes, sounds a little strange until I tell you that they spent their time at Sportsman's Warehouse.  Regan came home and was so excited to have some new arrows and a quiver that hooks on to your pants!  Boy heaven!  He spent the afternoon having target practice in the back yard.  On top of his already great day, our neighbor saw him out there and gave him a archery target board that he said he hadn't used in a very long time!  He had a day full of blessings!

Today they went to the shooting range along with my husband to shoot clay pigeons....I knew they must be having fun because they were gone for a few hours.  Again....boy heaven....

Tomorrow, weather permitting, they will be taking the kayaks up to our favorite little lake in the Applegate Valley.  They'll kayak and fish the day away....my boy and his Papa.

I'm feeling thankful today.  Family is a blessing!

Thanks Dad!

Bad Day Pick Me Up

I've recently been recovering from a surgery, and for whatever reason my emotions have been a little crazy the past 2 weeks.  I've had several days of crying for no apparent reason and yesterday I had a particularly rough day.  I think I was just a little overwhelmed.

That said, I wanted to share what I woke up to this morning.  The first thing that happened was that my husband woke me up to let me know that I should wake up because he made pancakes for breakfast and he was going to be bringing me breakfast in bed.  (Awwww....right?!)

The next thing I noticed after I ate breakfast .... and might I add ...... my dishes were cleared for me, I had a card and this was the front of it:

The dinosaurs have missed Noah's Arc...this was funny to me and it made me laugh....which was their goal.  The inside was filled with encouraging words from my husband and then  eight 'coupons' total.  Four from my son and four from my husband....offering things from a 'pedicure' to 'crafts with Mom'.
I was so encouraged by the efforts of love from my husband and son.  And even though I wish I wasn't feeling in need of encouragement, it came at such a good time.

I had so laugh to myself that my son made a coupon to craft with me....because he knows that I LOVE to craft but it is truly NOT his 'thing'....he would prefer to do almost anything else.  So knowing this, I realize what a sacrifice of love this was coming from my teenaged son.

At the end of the day....I feel so blessed to have a family and a God who love me, remember me, and have a sense of humor!

May we all remember to encourage one another....sometimes a good laugh is the best medicine, and a phone call or a text just telling someone that you are thinking of them can mean more than you would ever know.

Things I've learned as a Parent

I did a recent post on my other blog www.remnantpostings.com and since I recently wrote a post here about Motherhood, I thought it would be appropriate to post this Parenting article here as well. 


As a Mother, what am I responsible for when it comes to parenting my son?  There are many opinions and answers to this question, but as a Christian Mom I came up with a few thoughts.


My job as his Mom right now is not to be his best friend, although that goes against popular belief.  I am called to love my son, and that is not hard for me to do.  However, my job, or rather my privilege is to teach my son: (each of these items are worthy of an entire blog or book so please know these are not complete)

• To love the Lord God with all his heart - Not just to attend church with us, but to teach him all throughout every day, even through my own actions and examples, who God is, who Christ and the Holy Spirit are....and why they are so worthy of our Love and Worship.  And...how his personal life can be forever impacted by having his own relationship with God.
• Teaching him God-Esteem instead of Self-Esteem  - This will ruffle feathers undoubtedly (I worked for years in counseling centers and fully understand the controversy over this subject), but in my view, 'self'-esteem is not all it's cracked up to be.    It is putting the wrong (and very fallible) person first...us!  When we as humans, and our ever changing our ideas about what is failures and successes, are guiding how we feel about ourselves...our 'self-esteem' will change like the ocean tides.  But if we have God-Esteem, building our view of ourselves upon what the creator of the Universe says about us, it is solid.  We can have security, we can worry less, and find a life much more fulfilling.  I want that not only for myself but for my son.   I've found that I've used the term 'self-esteem' so often over the years that I have to make a point to change the way I speak about this...especially to my son.  I think in a lot of ways it is harder for our kids to feel good about themselves now days, than it ever was for us!  They need all the help they can get to counteract what they see and hear when they're out in the world.  I believe this is the case whether you send your kids to public school, private school, or if you home-school.
• Wisdom and discernment - Our kids must know how to make choices between right and wrong, not just when we are there to help lead them to the answer.  I must teach my son how to do this himself, especially now that he is a teenager...he needs to learn how to take the facts and weigh the options thus making a decision based on what he knows to be responsible and true.  And the most important part is that he would not be weighing against what he 'feels' is right, but what he knows to be right from the Word of God.  And part of learning this lesson is failure, to see the consequences of poor choices can sadly be a great motivational tool to avoid such mistakes in the future. (hopefully)  But as parents we pray that learn on the little things, and while they are still under our protective wings.
• Setting Boundaries - If we must teach our children how make decisions, then we must also teach them how to set a boundary when they are faced with decisions that are difficult to make....and this is DEFINITELY IMPORTANT for them to know how to do when you are not around, for their own protection!  Peer pressure can be overwhelming and we must discuss and even role play with our kids before the temptations present themselves.  I am a firm believer in giving our kids the facts of some of the larger temptations in life (age appropriate details of course), but if you aren't telling them, then they will ask someone else and who knows what sort of information they will get.  How will they know why it is important to set boundaries, if we don't explain to them why it is important to put them in place?  I also like to give life examples in this area and point out some choices from his own life...good and bad...this way a a good choice vs. this was not the best choice....and here is why.  And if you are really brave....try giving them some examples from your own life.  When they see that other people suffer natural consequences from bad choices, it somehow means more and becomes information that seems for valid.
• Discipline as a mode of teaching, not punishment...  Giving our children rules and boundaries, and helping them to be able to expect in advance the outcome of their actions...is what I believe is not only Biblically correct but I truly believe it helps our kids to feel safe, important, and loved.  **Discipline does not = physically beating or verbally abusing a child!**  There is so much to say about this, but I will save that for another post.  I will just say three extra words....CONSISTENCY IS KEY!
• Compassion - It is important to teach our kids that serving others is not only a good thing, but something that will make you feel better and be healthier.  Selfishness breeds pride and causes many problems and should not be excused in children just because they are young and immature.  Give your children the gift of knowing what it is like to put others first!  There is no other feeling that beats knowing that you have surprised someone with a blessing of provision that they had no idea was coming!  You get to feel for a minute like the hands and feet of Jesus.  Our kids need to also realize how blessed most of us are to have a roof over our heads, food to eat at 3 main meals a day, and someone to love and care for us!
• Choosing their inner circle of friends - Helping our kids to identify the qualities that make them a good friend, and the qualities that they should want to have in their friends will help them to reduce friendship drama.  And DO NOT underestimate the fact that your children's friends will have so much influence over them, as a parent you will be thankful for good choices in this area!  Know the parents of the friends your kids are spending time with, and if there is ever a question of safeness....do not allow sleepovers!  That is really a separate subject but I wanted to be sure to say it.  You would be shocked to know how many kids are abused staying over at other people's homes. 
• Teaching them independence -I believe this is best in small doses and in varying degrees of responsibility, but this is what prepares them to be on their own.  Allow them to learn and falter under your supervision.  Keep your Mothering eyes open for teachable moments... they're all around you!  We need to teach them to stand on their own....and I personally find this is a hard one as Momma....but alas I am trying.  :-)

Having a good husband and parenting partner makes a world of difference as does having a solid and group of fellow Mom's who allow for vulnerable and 'real' conversations about the ups and downs of Motherhood and offer advice and hugs when needed.

And for those of you who are single Mom's, I just want to say that having that core group of fellow Mother's is essential!  I spent 10 years raising my son alone, so I can relate to the special hardship that comes with trying your best to be everything to your kids...when you can only do so much and you feel like you often fall short.


If you are a Christian, remember Christ is your Partner and He is the Father to the Fatherless (even if they do have biological Fathers that just may not be present often or ever).  If you aren't a Christian, all I can say is.....consider it friend.....I'm not sure I could have made it without Him!  He is still my best friend, closest confidant, and best advise giver!

I am far from a perfect parent, I'll tell you that in all honesty and humility.  I'm just attempting to be a good steward of the son god gave me each and every day.

What is a Mom?

Although I could fill pages of the details of how I love my son ...today I wanted to talk about what it means to be a Mom.

One of the simplest definitions of a Mother that I've seen says that a Mother is a female who has given birth to a child.  Even as I type that is seems grossly simplified and not exactly correct.


I have friends who have adopted children, and even though that child did not come from her own womb, the child is no less hers and she is no less of a Mother.  I even have a friend who was a surrogate Mom for an amazing couple who could not conceive themselves.  She in fact had twins, and although my friend will always have a bond with those babies that grew inside of her...my friend is not their Mother.  And then there are some who connect the word Mom more with a friend or mentor who has been to them what they always longed for but didn't get from the Mother who raised them.


Sometimes Motherhood is biological, sometimes it is not.  I believe that the love that many connect with the person they call Mom does not come simply from DNA or Title, but from relationship.  From listening to the details of our lives, teaching us and walking us through the hard lessons in life, giving advice when necessary, hugging us when there is nothing more that can be done, and loving us always.  Mothers come in many different shapes and sizes, but one thing connects them all.....love. 


Some Mother's are better at these things that other.  Some children grow into adults with the thinking that their Mom is one of their best friends, other children grow older and begin their own families and only see their Mom's on major holidays, and still yet....some grow and disconnect completely deciding for whatever reason that continuing a relationship with their Mother is not beneficial.


As I thought about all of this, I began to wonder what type of Mom my son thinks I am.  When he grows older, what will his relationship be with me?  Will we be close?

One thing I am learning is that this thing called Motherhood is a marathon and not a sprint.  There are days when you want to cry, pull your hair out, and run away....and then there are days you cry because you are so full of love that you can't hold it all in.   It isn't always easy, but the important things often aren't and I believe in the end all of our hard work will be worth it!


Being a Mom is the biggest job on Earth...you are responsible for teaching and raising a human life.  There is no higher calling.  It took me a long time to figure this one out as I spent years clawing my way up the corporate ladder.  Being a Mom is an honor.....don't forget.....it is an honor and a miracle!


So to all of you fellow Mother's.....


Thank you for all you do for your kids!  If they aren't thanking you now....one day they will!